How to Talk Romance Like a Generation Z: 51 Ultra-Specific Phrases for Love, Intimacy and Bad Behaviour

The current year signifies a full decade since the term “vanishing” entered the mainstream. Back then, the idea that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the decade since, finding a significant other has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes fruitless endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly pigeonholed by online lingo.

Generation Z, a cohort who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a widespread attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex terrain than their Gen Y predecessors could ever fathom. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more unhinged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

Below is a extensive breakdown to the phrases this generation is using to talk about romance, sex and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “ideological catfishing”.

The Letter A

Authenticity – In the view of Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Avian theory – A online phenomenon loosely based on a test developed by couples researchers, in which you mention something minor – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s reaction is interested or disinterested. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner prioritizes herself while oozing mystery and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This refers to seeking out someone who supports you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would get a seat for you to sit down.

Choremance – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as pet care or food shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel swamped by life. You can crash out over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to partners who opt out of having children to focus on their own well-being. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

The Letter E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

F

Signals

• Red flags – Personal traits indicating a prospective partner is trouble. For instance calling their exes unstable, bad gratuity habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These actions affirm your choice to date a partner. Such as checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Neutral quirks – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying the rent in cash …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as passionate about documentaries about the second world war or physical media hoarding or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same stuff or individuals that you do (few things creates intimacy faster than sharing a common enemy).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so preoccupied with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the above entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and contentedly home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own other than pleasing her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to understand the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and usually everyday turnoffs that instantly shut down any feelings of interest.

“If he wanted to, he would" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly romantic display.

The Letter J

Careers – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd opt for partners in fields they see as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z prefer fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance authentic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {